Lauren's cancer journey pt 3

My trip away to Queensland, before LT started treatment, gave me lots of happy times for the memory tank. I jotted some of them down over a beer on the way back to Hobart.

1829, Wed 6 January 2010.  Melbourne Airport.

The last couple of days have been a mixed bag, feelings-wise, which is pretty normal for me approaching any sort of 'change event' (Don Watson would be proud of my management speak).  I've had a few moments of despair that tend to lead to antisocial outbursts at family members, but they've passed quickly.  I'm a bit scared of what my role as a carer for Lauren might entail, and it's pushing my fear of commitment button pretty hard.  I need to remember that I'm still somewhat on holiday and that I need to look after myself if I'm going to be worth having around at all.  I wish our travel plans were still locked in; it would give me at least one thing to structure the immediate future around.

Phew.  Maybe no wild night tonight, going by my beer breath.  Gotta do something to fight the boredom though.
So LT has had her three first radiation blasts, with only minor side effects so far.  Poor girl was very uptight with that sort of whole-body nervousness before her first dose, but luckily things went reassuringly well. The mystery at this point is which other side effects might show up, how bad they'll be and how long before we're thoroughly fed up with the daily rigmarole of treatment.  You'll here about it here first, dear diary.

This tiny screen gives me fierce eyestrain.  I look up every now and then and can't pick the gender of anyone further than 5m away.  I guess it doubles my perving potential, if I really get desperate for a bright side.

Maybe I'll finish by jotting some holiday highlights to jog the memory, since I was slack as a lazy dog with the camera this time.  In no particular order, they are:

• Playing at least 15 rounds of yard golf with Alex and, in between the long periods of sucking, actually nailing a few shots;
• Trying twice, for several hours at a time, to tune A's nitro buggy to a useable state and failing;
• Spending at least a working week setting up, fixing or otherwise fiddling with Dad, Mum and Alex's computers,  rendering the household somewhat more likely to harness the computing mumbo at their disposal.  I came close to frustration, but the happiness of success (and payment to the tune of $200) kept me going like a crack-addicted ferret with an IT degree;
• Spending about 4 hours with Alex, chosing a remote control car with his Christmas funds, only to have the one he bought fail after 30 minutes.  Cue another 45 minute trip down the coast to swap it for another (blessedly functional) one;
• Heading down to Kawana and spending half a day getting my camp cooking kit seriously sorted out. I am so damn chuffed with the compact cleverness of the setup I ended up with.  YEEESSSS!!!;
• Seeing Mum burst into tears when Nick presented her with a Tahitian black pearl to thank her for supporting him through uni.  While I was completely upstaged on the gift front (the top I got her didn't fit), it was a beautiful moment;
• Being a small part of the new car purchase that Mum and Dad made to kick off their Season of Spending.  It's a nice new Forester with lots of legroom in the back.  Lovely;
• Getting myself and Paul some wicked new shirts from Ed Harry.  I love the look of my “Argentina” one, but the Terminator 2 quoting one is the funniest ever.  Paul loved his :-).  I also hooked the big man up with wireless in his house, which he reckons is the best thing since sliced bread;
• Spending hours with Paul and Alison, vegging out, playing PS3, watching Zombieland, Sin City, Avatar and stupid Youtube clips.  Good clean manly fun;
• Camping in the back yard in my new tent.  I made it through the night without the fly.  I am mother-effin hardcore;
• Seeing mum's face when she saw me on Skype video chat for the first time;
• Having a seriously beautiful time with LT in QLD.  I love just being us, hanging out.
• Seeing Amy, Sally and the other Prideauxs yesterday.  Amy is looking great, but her lymphocytic colitis is back.  I hope to hell the steroids she's on do the trick, otherwise she's looking at another two years of being wrecked by chemo.  Please God, she's had enough;

I'll think of more, I'm sure, but I'm done for now.  Only half an hour til I can get on the plane. See you in Hobart.